《幽默英文阅读测验 第2版》

1．The Laundryman1

2．A Newly Rich Lady2

3．A Gentleman And A Lady3

4．Train Sickness6

5．Only Fools Are Certain8

6．Your Car Rolled By An Hour Ago9

7．An Appointment In Hell11

8．I Must Have Smoked My Key13

9．The Climate Didn't Agree With Me14

10．Wnere's Your Sense Of Humor?15

11．I'm Not A Gypsy16

12．You Are Right Here18

13．You Could Give Me A Raise19

14．I Am Cold20

15．You Are Not Drinking Enough Water22

16．What Happened To The Man Who Didn't Drink,Smoke Or Gamble?23

17．Are You Coming Back?25

18．I Hope She Isn't Shopping26

19．Nobody Ever Died Of Seasickness27

20．My Husband Doesn't Smoke28

21．I Think I'm Catching A Cold30

22．Would You Write I t Down?31

23．Why Don't You Wear A Watch Like Everybody Else?33

24．Why Should You Go To School?34

25．What Do You Put In Your Garden First?35

26．The Wife Knew How To Save Money40

27．Why Not Take Grandpa Too?41

28．I Don't Smoke43

29．It's The Red Cross44

30．A Whisp Of A Girl46

31．We Are Both Here47

32．I Like Ours Best49

33．I Think I Am Late51

34．I Am Acting Like A Lady53

36．I Am A Pickpocket56

37．It's A Mr.And Mrs.J.Stein57

38．I Want You To Marry Our Stockbroker59

39．I Am Nothing60

40．I Forgot To Thank Him62

41．Russia Had Freedom Of Speech63

42．I Only Came To Ask A Favor64

43．Let Go!66

44．I Must Still Be Safe67

45．The Devil's Funeral69

46．What Makes It Special?70

47．Single?71

48．You Haven't Killed Anyone,Have You?72

49．I Want To Get Out74

50．Those Who Are Bold Enough Come With Me76

51．Where Is Your Waist?80

52．An Iranian Refugee83

53．The Young Couple86

54．Hurry!87

55．Women's Fashion88

56．A Peking Businessman89

57．A Palm Reader91

58．The Woman With a Child92

59．It Looks Natural94

60．It's A Miracle95

61．On A Crowded Bus96

62．I Am Not Wanted98

63．You Have Been Like A Daugnter To Me99

64．You Will Get A Ringing In Your Ears100

65．They Can't Put You In Jail For That104

66．We Are Halfway There105

67．It's Not Me106

68．When A Button Came Off My Fly107

69．I Don't Like My Neighbors109

70．Farming Was Not Easy110

71．The Old Man Started To Cry111

72．A Poor Deaf And Dumb Turkey112

73．Get Those Letters Out115

74．The Doctor's Prescription116

75．Everybody Stopped To Ask What Had Happened117

76．That's Your First Worry118

77．Why Is There No Asterisk Next To My Name119

78．A Whole Hour Without A Commercial121

79．Adam's Apple122

80．Sit Down123

81．She Can't Run Around On You128

82．There Might Be Something To That Rumor129

83．My Shop Was Robbed131

84．You Should See Her Pictures132

85．It Is Safe134

86．Promise Yourself Something135

87．This Is A Stick Up136

88．The Florist's Mistakes138

89．And That Took An Hour?139

90．No Parking 9 A.M.To 6P.M.140

91．He Had A Hat142

92．I Thought You Were Out144

93．Nothing To It145

94．If You Weren't President,I'd Be Buying Stock146

95．How Do You Know You'll Find Oil?148

96．How Can You Call It Fun?149

97．You Have To Dial Information150

98．A Little Bird151

99．You Are A Stupid Idiot153

100．I'm Writing My Doctor's Thesis156

101．Who Was That?157

102．I Have A Cleaning Lady158

103．Your Age160

104．I Thought You Were A Bird161

105．The Painters Are Coming163

106．Anybody Loses A Half-dollar?164

107．Why Do You Look So Grim?165

108．Why Didn't I Think Of That?167

109．How Long Are Your Legs?168

110．The River Is Frozen Over171

111．You Didn't Make The Carrot Suffer Enough172

112．I'd Like A Good Obstetrician174

113．August Is Worse Than That175

114．You Are In The Back Seat177

115．He Went Bankrupt Twice178

116．You're The First One Who Explained It179

117．Where Can I Get Pushed To The Subway181

118．This Is The First Time I Got All The Details182

119．A Psychology Teacher184

120．I Think I'd Rather Have Cash185

121．I'll Have A Dry Martinus187

122．You Are A Mean Mam188

123．He Saves The Clipping189

124．How Many Customers Did You Have?191

125．You Have My Seat191

126．Distraction193

127．A Real Alligator Handbag194

128．The Three Etc's195

129．You're Not Leaving A Vaccancy197

130．You Fire Her198

131．Why Do You Sell It Now?199

132．I'll Show You The Cancellation200

133．Going Out Of Business202

134．Nobody Wants To Talk To Me203

135．No More Papers After The Thirtieth204

136．Shut Off The Meter205

137．Let Us Have A Clear Look206

138．A Self-Addressed Letter210

139．The Light Of The Wicked Shall Be Put Out211

140．Cats Don't Like It213

141．He Just Giggled A Little215

142．Free Enterprise216

143．An Arab217

144．He Went To The John Three Times219

145．It's Easy For You To Talk220

146．Let That Be A Lesson To You221

147．A Clever Son222

148．The Shoes Are Not Comfortable224

149．He Is To Have No Special Privileges225

151．How Can You Just Sit There?226

150．If Only He Wasn't A Lawyer226

152．What Can We Do For You?229

153．No Wonder They Are Driving On The Sidewalk230

154．A Good Day To You,Policeman231

155．I Think I'll Sell233

156．I Am The Maid235

157．You Can Walk Through It237

158．This Is As Far As I Go239

159．The Minister241

160．This Isn't My Table243

161．How Do They Expect To Get A Coffin Into This Place?244

162．You Will Enjoy It246

163．I Am On My Honey Moon247

164．Somebody Might Visit Me249

165．A Riddle250

166．The Eggs Have Been Very Good252

167．Nobody Is Talking To You254

168．Your Guava Must Be As Big As A Basketball256

169．Why Don't We Change Into Hunters?259

170．Shaw Refuses To Attend A Wedding264

171．I Will Pay You267